Anybody Remember This…?

It’s not stalking… not really.

I love you, I’m just scared that you’ll leave me and I know you know how much that would hurt me. When I stand in the shadows or sit in my car watching you, it’s just that I want to know you are safe, that no-one is bothering you, no-one is tainting you. I couldn’t take it if you weren’t in my life, I would have no reason to live. I need you to be there, in my eyes, in my mind.

Yesterday, when you bought that new underwear I knew you were buying it with me in mind. I watched you look at all the different things on display in the store, I saw you touch the ones you liked and I followed you, looking at the things you’d looked at. I knew which bra you were going to pick, it’s my favourite colour and I know it will look good against your skin.

On your way home I sat three seats behind you on the bus but you didn’t notice me, I was very discreet. I saw you speaking to that student type and I knew he was making your skin creep. I knew that laugh you gave him was hiding what you really felt… disgust. I wanted to come up behind him and hit him, I almost did and I knew you would have thanked me but we reached our stop just before I moved.

I love your house, no our house… I know it so well. I have been in every room, looked in every drawer. I have smelt your pillow, your clothes. I know what medication you take, how much your electricity bill is and what’s in your bank account. I know your friends, I know you so well my love, and I know you know I do. I know that you feel me watching when you are alone at night. Why else would you look so inviting, why else would you do all the things that you do to make me feel this hunger? The preparations you take to make yourself soft and beautiful, just for me.

I think you liked the present I left you? The rose? I know you kept it and put it in a book. I was excited by the way you looked about you when you found it on your doorstep, as if you wanted me to see you looking for me… I saw you and I want you.

Winter II

My mouth is stopped and my hands are tied,
I cannot present my care.
I have only words. My words must create universes;
Split atoms,
Weld souls.

Though I watch your eyes soften as you see me,
And feel your hidden need;
The curve of your smile,
asymmetric pleasure,
And the hairs on your skin stand.
Reaching.
For me.

I feel I know what you feel, deep below this surface.
I seize an acknowledged bond;
My words fill the spaces in your spirit,
And I too am full.
My two mistresses:
Desire,
Obsession.